I have to confess, I'm somewhat of an aficionado of gallows humor, and watching a politician self-destruct in the spectacular implosion that Trump has done in the last two weeks has made me cackle on several occasions.
But then it dawned on me: Maybe this total implosion is actually the reason he would be the best candidate for the job in 2016.
After this realization, it was only a matter of writing down a list of all the great things that have come from Donald Trump's business-as-usual, loud-mouth politics.
1. Most Presidents have to Financially Divest Themselves Prior to Office
When Trump goes for broke, he really knows his way around the bankruptcy courts. Most politicians simply put their assets into blind-trusts during their presidencies, but Trump does nothing small -- he's intent on losing it all before it becomes an issue.
The last few weeks have been pretty rough on Trump financially, from losing contracts with Univision and NBC, to the PGA dropping the use of his luxury golf course.
If this keeps up, Trump will be in a position unique to most incumbent presidents -- he might actually remember what it's like for the vast majority of Americans to have contracting salaries and net worth.
2. A Steady Stream of Fresh Ideas from the Executive DepartmentCan you imagine Cabinet meetings run like
Celebrity Apprentice?
Not only would there be a revolving door in cabinet-level offices, but national engagement in the political system would be at an all-time high as voters watch the ensuing carnage of each meeting.
Trump loves to brag about all the people he's fired in his career, especially when berating other candidates like Carly Fiorina being fired from Hewlett-Packard.
No way would Trump ever stand behind his Cabinet in crisis -- one mistake, it's out the door.
No more scandals like Fast and Furious, Benghazi, mistreatment of veterans, or dubious roll-outs of programs like Obamacare -- just one word from Trump and it's a clean house for the department.
3. Restoring the Sanctity of Marriage in American Politics
In the true tradition of Ronald Reagan, Trump would bring sanctity of marriage with him to the office of the presidency as only the second president to have been divorced.
Considering that over half of American marriages end in divorce, he could really be a president of the people -- after being taken to the cleaners by his first wife and the short-lived rebound marriage with his second, he seems to have found true love with wife number three.
Somehow we've come to expect that only politicians should be miserably married at any cost to save their political careers. But here, Trump takes the lead of the entire field by demonstrating to Americans that if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
4. Trump Could Use His Power to Finally Put to Rest the Birther Conspiracies
Somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of Area 51, there is probably actual proof that President Obama isn't really an American citizen, but in fact is actually an extraterrestrial bent on world domination.
Trump could finally prove, as one of the last true believers in the birther conspiracies, that he was in fact right -- and that overwhelming evidence to the contrary was simply made up to keep Obama in power.
This kind of denial at all costs would serve him well throughout his presidency: 97% of scientists won't be able to convince him that man-made climate change is real. He's already proven that he can stand by his beliefs regardless of the evidence against them.
5. He'd Be a True Bipartisan that Nobody Really Wants
It takes a man of true political conviction to belong to five different political parties in the past 15 years.
Also, in the spirit of Ronald Reagan, Trump can honestly say that the parties left him, not the other way around -- but only because he creates so much collateral damage that no one wants him in their ilk.
The House and Senate have already mastered the concept of gridlock during the Obama administration; there's absolutely no logical reason we shouldn't extend this to the Executive Branch, ensuring that absolutely nothing gets done for four years.
But Most Importantly...Trump is the true embodiment of the modern media axiom, "
There's no such thing as bad press."
He has captivated media outlets both nationally and internationally, getting probably twice the media coverage of the other Republican candidates combined.
This would be Trump's biggest strength in office: there would simply never be a bad day of press for him, just a continuation of the previous day's press.
Politicians are too willing to live and die by the weekly polls, but Trump, a man of real political courage, knows what the people really want -- bread and circuses.
And Donald Trump is poised to be the best ring-leader of the pack for a three-branch political circus that will ensue on January 20, 2017.