At college, one of my double majors was Political Science. At the time, I remember thinking that I’d always be able to hold my own in a conversation if I had a basic understanding of politics. I still feel that way, but I no longer want to talk about politics (unless it’s about office politics).
I’ve almost lost several friends over political discussions around a dinner table. People have even stormed out of my dinner parties over politics when I didn’t open my mouth. Imagine how much worse it would have been had I ventured an opinion.
A key concept of smart business negotiation is “win-win.” To me, talking about politics is “lose-lose.” It’s commonplace to say, “You can’t change anyone’s mind.” Alas, you can. You can turn a friend into a passing acquaintance. You can turn a work ally into a distant colleague. And you can turn your friendly boss into someone who gives others at the company the plum assignments in an effort to avoid you.
How, though, can you avoid discussing politics when virtually every person around you is talking about them? Here are some tactics for politely sidestepping the political minefield.
Adhere to my Rule of Five: I limit my intake of politics the way other people count calories. I allow up to but no more than five political intrusions into my day. I enjoy reading the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal over breakfast each morning. But after I’ve read two headlines concerning today’s politics, I force myself to either put the newspaper down or flip the pages to a less stressful section. By limiting my intake of political fare, I am less inclined to talk about politics and more prone to discuss a new movie coming out.
Practice the polite segue: If the banter around the conference table starts to take a turn toward the political, I do my best to head it off. I might say, “I just have to compartmentalize politics while I’m at work,” or “I don’t have the bandwidth right now to take this in – sorry.” Then, after waiting a beat to let my swerve sink in, I follow with “On a lighter note…” and fill in with a positive piece of office of local news.
Acknowledge before bowing out. At times, when someone says something politically provocative, I get the feeling that they’re fishing to find out my political persuasion. And, knowing better than to take the bait and potentially become victim to their political rants, I try to simply affirm the emotion that has welled up in them without addressing their assertion. My response follows the lines of “I know it’s hard to not let all the political news stress us out. There’s so much bombarding us all the time.” Then, before they get in another remark, I make an excuse and hurry off.
Head off talk of politics before it arises. Lately, when walking into some shops, I’ve noticed that they’ve posted a sign that says something to the effect of, “Kindly refrain from political conversations while inside.” I’ve followed suit by posting my own polite request on my office door where anyone who approaches will be sure to see it. If someone tries to engage me in talk about politics, I smile and point to my sign. If you decide to try this tactic, here’s a hint: Use a friendly serif font and a decorative frame or some clip art of a flower or an innocuous graphic to give your sign a warm, genial appearance rather than a harsh, imperious one.
Veer from the minute-by-minute analysis. When a colleague runs up to me with her phone in her hand and a look of horror on her face to share the latest breaking news of another political fiasco, I turn back the ensuing catastrophizing session by sharing the 10,000-foot view. Without delving into too many specifics, I offer the way extreme swings across the ideological spectrum eventually move toward the center. Or, I point out that astrologers say we’re transitioning into the Age of Aquarius, promising more harmony in the world.
Getting charged up over politics has become our new national pastime. Except that now, instead of how we use to talk about our sports teams over the water cooler, the opposite team is considered nefarious and its viewpoints incomprehensible. Maybe, to avoid being dragged into a conversation about politics, it’s best to just move the conversation back to sports.
About The Author
Vicky Oliver is a leading career development expert and the multi-bestselling author of five books, including Bad Bosses, Crazy Coworkers & Other Office Idiots (Sourcebooks, 2008), and 301 Smart Answers to Tough Interview Questions (Sourcebooks 2005), named in the top 10 list of “Best Books for HR Interview Prep.” She’s a sought-after speaker and seminar presenter and a popular media source, having made over 901 appearances in broadcast, print and online outlets. Vicky Oliver is the Nonfiction Editor at LIT Magazine, the Journal of the New School Masters in Fine Arts Creative Writing, and teaches essay writing at the New York Writers Workshop. She co-hosts the Resilient Women series podcast for Relatable Media. For more information, visit vickyoliver.com.